Surviving the 'little mouse' moments
Here we are, January 2023, I am preparing (mentally more than anything) to return to Edinburgh for semester two; filled with memories of parties, big cheese and deadlines I'm genuinely excited, but it wasn't all perfect and that's something not mentioned enough in these types of blogs, so here we go.
It has been a semester of ups and downs, I know most people who talk about their time at university mainly focus on one or the other, either 'OMG it has been AMAZING', or, 'Dude i can't do this anymore I've been eating plain bread for two months and I'm always sick i need to drop out', but in reality you will most likely go through phases of saying both.
I remember one week I came out of a politics lecture that focused on data analysis and being on the verge of tears walking home, and then crying when I did because the entire time I had that gut-wrenching feeling of dread as the thought of 'I have no idea what any of this means, but everyone else in this 500 seater lecture theatre does, why on earth am I here' running through my head. Two weeks later I get a great grade on my first essay and call my mum out of the blue to share my joy. This type of roller-coaster happens A
LOT; some nights you'll go from eating a bowl of plain cereal (you and your flatmates forgot to buy milk) for lunch and dinner (because you woke up at 1 so no breakfast) and then the
next day you can go and have 3 of the most delicious, expertly made, healthiest meal of your life - and then go and drink a bottle and a half of wine.
(Our flat was the party flat for day 1 of freshers - gave us some free DIY decorations)
My best advice - do something stupid when you feel down. Whether it's going for a walk in the pouring rain (my personal favourite), watching either terrible shows or shows that remind you liked as a kid (a few of my friend's go to), or trying to cook something way out of your ability, something i do regularly not because i'm stressed and need a distraction but because I'm just an idiot. In short, distract yourself by doing something that gets your brain to release those dopamine chemicals, but try do something different to what you usually do. You might suprise yourself with how good you are at something, or how effective something is at cheering you up. If all else fails you can always go back to the usual solution - have some hot chocolate and binge love island.
I mentioned great meals - I made paella once, t'was banging despite the picture not looking great